I, Resolved

So, the New Year arrived just the other day, came to the world in the usual way….and this year, I decided that I would share my resolutions.  Resolution is an interesting word, if we break it down:  to re-solve – to solve again – to find another way.  I don’t think my life is particularly problematic, so the ‘solve’ is interesting, but I like the idea of finding another way to get my life accomplished, as it were.  I don’t know as writing them down will have a monumental impact on the likelihood of them becoming more than a January fad, but it certainly can’t hurt.

Here, then, is a list of how I will 'solve my life again'…

1. Lose weight – I know, I know.  I could not be much more cliché than this.  That does not, however, make me any less earnest in my desire to do so.  I went through the trauma of surgery to remove extra weight from my back, and yet I’ve put on extra pounds elsewhere that can’t be doing my back or general health any good.  I’m unhappy with the physical form my body has taken and so I’m going to fix it.  I’m not doing this to look good – I’m doing it to feel good.  To that end, I will work out for 30 minutes at least five days a week and I will endeavor to eat more fruits, vegetables, grains, and non-red meats.  I will be more aware of whether or not I’m actually hungry when I eat and I will be mindful of portion control.  I will not go insane or crazy, I will not develop an eating disorder.  I will simply eat better and get myself back into a shape (literally) that I am happy with.  Sensible and realistic – those are key. 
2. Read more – As an English professor, I often feel guilty because I don’t read as much as I should.  The problem with me picking up a book is that I will often not put it down until it is finished.  That tends to be a problem when I’m in my office, or supposed to be sleeping, or I have countless other things that need accomplishing.  The result is that I don’t read at all and this makes me sad.  It also feels disingenuous to expound on the benefits of reading to my students when I don’t do so nearly as much as I should.  So, I’m going to fix that, too.  Like losing weight, however, I’m going to exercise portion control.  As wonderful as it can be to lose oneself in another world, that’s not a practical way to balance that world with this other one that I have to actually live in.  So, I resolve to read for 30 minutes every day (or until the end of the chapter that I am in the middle of when the 30 minute mark hits). 
3. Write More – See the rationale for reading...same thing.  I have a blog now, as you may have noticed, and in 2010 I wrote in it three times a month beginning with the very first month of the blog's life.  That was pretty manageable.  This year, I am going to set my goal as four times a month – once a week.  And I’m going to endeavor to write more on the side, as well.  I have half-finished projects and poems that would like to be published and I need to work on nurturing my inner writer and DO something with those writings.  I have no specific, measurable goal* for this one other than blogging four times a month, but I think that’s okay.

If I had to sum up these three resolutions and what they represent, I could simply say that I want to do more of everything.  In short, I want to do more of the things I love and I want to feel my best while doing them - reading, writing, eating better, and exercising are easily tracked and easily monitored.  But it goes beyond such 'simple' endeavors.  I want to exercise my mind and my creativity, I want to be active, I want to complete home projects on the house I love, I want to explore new places, cultivate friendships, celebrate my family.  I want to be in this world.  In this moment.  Dancing on the edge of making this a sadder post than I originally intended, I feel that this idea of Doing is absolutely vital.  There is so much about the wider world that saddens me and leaves me heartbroken.  My overall well-being depends on me moving in my own world in a way that keeps me alive, vibrant, and as happy as I can be in a world that I simply cannot fix.  That I cannot 'solve again'.  So, I resolve to do just that...and perhaps I can fix some of the world in the process.

That is all.  Let’s see how well I do.

Happy New Year.

-T

* for those in academia with me, I humbly apologize for tainting this post with the idea of 'measurable goals' -- it seems we cannot escape certain concepts, even when we want to...